


Hades's Mansion of Villains

by ladirectora



Category: Disney - All Media Types
Genre: A LOT of canon divergence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Childishness, Crack Relationships, Crossover Pairings, Disney, Disney References, Disney villains - Freeform, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Frollo being conservative in a house full of gays, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Limited Powers/Magic, No Smut, None of this bastards can adult, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slice of Life, This is all just crack ya'll
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:27:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24868330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladirectora/pseuds/ladirectora
Summary: Hades is fed up with being alone so he decided to invite his homies to live with him on his mansion, but little did he know that when you place the nastiest people that ever lived on one place, some crazy shenanigans are bound to happen.Or: A funny slice of life fanfic featuring the Disney Villains and their crazy domestic life together. A lot of ships, friendship and probably some strangulation are to be expected.WARNING: Everything in this fic is pure crack-head energy and some of the characters really can't adult[NOTE: This story has been archived! I won't delete it but this will never be updated again. I will upload the new version soon]I have a tumblr right here: https://evildisneydorks.tumblr.com/
Relationships: Hades/Jafar (Disney), Maleficent/Ursula (Disney), Nasira/Morgana (Disney), Padraic Ratigan/Lady Tremaine (Disney), Scar/Shere Khan (Disney)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 76





	1. Not very subtle persuasion.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jafar can be a pretty stubborn man, even if his friends have actually good intentions.

“Oh please Jafar! It’s just a simple three-letter word, just say-”

“I SAID NO”

“THOSE ARE TWO!”

Jafar looked at disgust at the tall man hugging his legs. Although he respected Hades as a schemer and evil doer, he could sometimes be so childish.

For the last few days the god had been trying to convince him move over to his mansion when he found out that he was getting evicted from his apartment.

Hades stood up and planted himself in front of Jafar “C’mon pal! I would really appreciate to have one of my best friends around” he insisted.

“No Hades, for much that I appreciate your friendship I refuse to share a room with Ala-knows-who”

“Jafar, I have a big arse mansion! You won’t have to share a room, or even a bathroom. Besides, there aren’t a lot of people, just the good ol’ gang, you know ‘em! You got Mal, Ursula, Hook, Scar, Cruella, Cruella’s red-hair friend whose name I don’t remember , and-”

The sorcerer stopped the talkative god dryly. “I do know some of them, but that doesn’t change my opinion” He made a sign to his parrot to sit on his shoulder and started walking towards the bar’s exit “Let’s go Iago!”

“Jafar wait!” the grey man exclaimed, grabbing his friend’s shoulder “Jay, I know you’ve been living in a dumpster alongside Iago for a long time and I just want to give you a good place to stay!”

Jafar lifted his head higher and responded: “For the tenth time I appreciate your worry Hades, but I’m sure I will be find a new place on my own”

“You really need to let go some of that pride, man” the grey man said, letting go Jafar’s shoulder “Well, everyone is worried about you, not just me. Just think about it… do- do you really think you will be able to find an apartment in less than a week?” his voice, usually fast like a salesman, had taken a slow and sympathetic tone.

The shorter man’s chest filled up and was ready to reply until a soft cough coming from his parrot interrupted as he now looked at it, visibly worried.

Iago, who had been silently enjoying the two men argument, gave his master a serious look and said “Well, he is not wrong Jafar…”

The sorcerer didn’t respond. His situation was complicated ever since he was defeated by that street rat but his proud spirit wouldn’t let him ask for help that easily, even if he needed it.

After a long silence Jafar looked at the ground and finally responded. “Fine… Iago needs a bigger place to stretch his wings any-”

A strong hug interrupted the man’s speech, leaving him breathless. Iago flee and laughed at the scene from a nearby table.

“Yeah! I assure you will not regret it Jay-Jay” said Hades as he tightened the embrace.

“ack-“ Was the only thing the crushed man could articulate.

“Oh, sorry” Hades said as he finally let him friend go. “Don’t blame me pal. Ya know I’m kind of a hugger when I’m happy”

Jafar took a moment to fix his turban and robe from the agitation. “While I deeply thank the gesture, it will only be temporary until I find another place. And don’t call me Jay-Jay”

“Yeah yeah, go get you stuff and I’ll pick you up in the morning, okay?” Hades said excited.

Jafar shook his head in resignation, unsure if his friend had actually heard what he just said.

After a quick goodbye, both men parted their ways.

‘Ha, about time you changed your mind Jay-Jay” the red parrot said teasingly.

Jafar rolled his eyes “I did it for you, Iago. I would be totally fine…” he paused his speech with a sigh before continuing “…living in the car for a while”

“Yeah, keep tellin’ yourself that” the red bird responded as he imagined his elegant master curling up on the back seat of the old dusty red car. The thought entertained him but also made him feel quite bad for the old guy.

Jafar gave him a look, like if he could read Iago’s mind, before opening the creaking door of the vehicle. The bird took its place on the co-pilot seat, anchoring himself with his little claws while the man started the engine with a twist of the key. After a 15 minute drive, they arrived at a big apartment complex.

The reception was quiet and a funny smell seemed to be coming out of the backroom. Jafar didn’t even bother to salute Cyntia, the blonde woman reading a magazine behind the desk, because he knew that as soon as he opened his mouth the cigarette-breath witch would start yelling at him that he better “pack his shit and put his life together”

_God I hate her…_ he said to himself as his parrot looked back at the woman, probably to make funny faces at her.

“He gave you ‘the look’” he muttered to his master.

“What look?” Jafar asked the parrot as he climbed the stairs.

“The same look you give me when I cuss at strangers during your perfomances”

The man just smiled softly, looking for his keys. “Well, we won’t have to worry about the looks of that snake anymore” he said, turning the key to unlock the door.

_I really hope I don’t end up regretting this decision later…_ , Jafar thought for himself as he walked inside his crappy apartment, caressing Iago’s head with one finger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo first chapter! Yey :D  
> Sorry if it's short but my idea is to update this fic rather frequently. And also, since it's a slice of life each chapter is going to tell one or two things that happen on an average day.
> 
> Pst! I have a tumblr in which I'm gonna post some drawings and you can also ask me stuff: https://evildisneydorks.tumblr.com/
> 
> Drink water, sleep 8 hours a day and see you on the next update!


	2. Arrival at Hell's Manor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hades welcomes Jafar to the mansion, but "forgets" to mention the rest of the house's habitants.

After almost half an hour of driving behind Hades’s black Volvo 1800ES Jafar finally arrived at Hell’s Manor, a dark and menacing house on the countryside of Downtown, hidden somewhat deep on Gloom Forest, a place full of wild animals.

The god led the way to the garage, which was almost empty apart from a pick up covered in mud. That solitude reassured Jafar that maybe this time his friend was telling the truth.

Shortly after locking the door, the god look at the filthy car and muttered in annoyance: “For the love of Rea, I asked Gaston to wash it before parking it. Great, just wait till he comes back…”

“Oh, so that air-head hunter lives here too?” Iago asked from Jafar’s shoulder, visibly disdaining upon hearing the name.

“Yeah, forgot to mention” he responded, scratching his neck. “The kid hunts almost all we eat here, which is great to reduce the food bill, but he is quite messy”

“Who else did you forgot to mention?” exclaimed Jafar, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Hey, like I said, there aren’t a lot of people. Don’t you trust me Jay?”

The tanned man and his parrot looked at each other and then back at Hades. They didn’t bother to respond and simply lifted their eyebrows giving the grey man a serious look.

Hades was quick enough to catch the message and responded in a false hurt tone “Ouch, don’t you trust you best friend?”

Jafar rolled his eyes while the god just laughed at his own joke and escorted them out of the garage.

As they climbed a short set of stairs, Jafar mentally prepared for the chaos that was probably the inside of the house, knowing the erratic personalities of some of the fellow villains.

When they got inside the black mansion however, it was completely dessert. The door from the garage connected to the living room: a large room with three big couches, a small TV and some bookcases. Everything was decorated on a dark color scheme with mostly black but also green, purple and some red splashed on furniture and on details on the wallpaper.

“As ya can see, the living room! At your right is the kitchen which honestly is used mainly to store the food but sometimes Hook likes to cook and lemme tell you, he is the boss at cooking.”

“I see” Jafar responded, still looking around quite curiously while Hades made him a sign to climb the stairs on their left.

\------

“-And here is your room!” Hades said proudly as he opened a dark wood door.

Both men stood on the entrance, looking inside the dark chamber.

The bedroom had a slight Arabic inspiration, with some red and black carpets decorating the walls and floors; the same as the canopy bed, the desk and some matching chairs. In front of Jafar’s bed was a big door less cage, which Iago looked in delight.

“So what do you think?” the fast talking god said, putting a hand on the sorcerer’s shoulder “I was aiming for ‘feel like home’ kinda vibe to it, and also to match the rest of the house”

The tanned man nodded slightly “It’s… appropriate, to say the least” the sorcerer responded trying to control his emotions, keeping a serious face.

“Are ya’ kidding Jafar?! This place is amazing!” the red parrot exclaimed as he flied around the room, eager to explore every single corner and finally flying outside the room through the window.

“Oh Iago…” Jafar muttered shaking his head.

Hades could swear he saw a little smile forming on his friend’s lips. While it wasn’t so evident at times, he knew that he truly cared about that sassy red parrot in his own way and sometimes treated him more like a son than like a minion, which was something that Hades found quite charming.

“Well, what can I say? I like interior designing” said the grey man in a failed humble tone before placing his elbow on Jafar’s shoulder to add something. “Anyways, I’m gonna leave you two alone to unpack but be sure to come down later for dinner, I ordered some pizza to celebrate your arrival!”

“Alright, I guess we will be there” Jafar responded as he freed himself from the god and took his luggage near the bed.

“Okay! See ya’” he was about to leave the room when a soft sentence stopped him at the door arch.

“Just… thank you, again, for letting us stay…” said Jafar in a soft and sincere way, very different from the tone he usually adopted with other people.

Hades smiled for himself.

“Yer’ welcome” responded the grey man before closing the door.

Without anyone on sight, the sorcerer just let himself fall into the bed. It was soft and giggly beyond belief, just the way he liked. After having slept on literal rocks and springs for so long he was happy to see that he could finally get rid of that annoying backache.

He closed his eyes and silently admitted that this was way better than any apartment he could have found for himself. It was cozy and clean, a rare thing to find on Downtown’s big apartment buildings which were mostly rented to low-salary or unemployed people, just like him.

His thoughts were interrupted by a breeze entering from the open window; Iago was finally done with his exploration and had returned to the room to unpack his things.

“Agh!” he exclaimed, trying to open one of Jafar’s suitcases with the help of his beak and his tiny-bird feet “Curse these locks!”

The man stood up from the bed and opened the suitcase for his feathery friend, who quickly thanked him and proceeded to grab a bag of assorted nuts and seeds, which the sorcerer knew the bird cherished with his life. As soon as he had taken possession of snacks, he flied across the room and inside his cage.

“You know I’m not going to steal any of those, right?” said Jafar as he saw how Iago tried to hid the bag on one of corners of his cage “I’m not the biggest fan of bird snacks so yours are safe”

“I’m not hiding it from you, I’m hiding it from myself” the bird declared, buring his treasure a bit deeper. “These ones have to last until Halloween!”

After a brief moment of confusion, Jafar chuckled at the parrot’s antics and shrunk his shoulders.

 _At least he has a sense of responsibility_ , he thought as he unpacked several pieces of clothing and placed them on the bed. He was very focused on the task when a knock on his door called his attention.

Could Hades have forgotten something? Well, he just hoped it was Hades.

“Come in” he said as he placed a pair of jeans on the wardrobe nearby. When Jafar looked at the door arc it wasn’t the grey-skinned god, but one of the sorcerer’s closest friends apart from the latter; the mistress of evil herself, Maleficent.

But she didn’t quite look like herself. Apart from wearing more casual and lighter clothes than her usual black robe, she was not wearing her signature horned-shaped headwear and her silver hair was tied up on a messy bun. She looked like a grandma, which he found funny, considering she was one of the most feared villains.

“Hello Mal” he saluted the tall woman leaning on the wall. “What brings you here? Did Hades tell you I was moving today?” asked Jafar, knowing well that the flaming god didn’t know how to keep his mouth shut, or didn’t even try at times.

“No, Diablo saw your parrot flying around the castle and decided to come by” she responded in a calm voice while a black raven flied inside the room.

“IAAAGO!!” the dark bird exclaimed cheerfully as he gladded gracefully inside the cage

“BROTHER!!” responded the parrot, greeting his friend.

Both birds started chatting in an almost childish manner, combined with natural bird sounds that made their speech more incomprehensible, at least for their English-speaking masters who looked at each other in visible confusion.

“They look like kids…” sigh Jafar, letting a small smiles form on his lips he looked at the two pals flying outside of the room.

“Well Jay, they are kids” added the woman “I’m glad Diablo has someone to spend his time with other than Flotsam and Jetsam”

“Oh, you mean your step-sons?” the sorcerer said teasingly, to which Maleficent only rolled her eyes and chuckled softly.

“Yes, technically… They are nice but mostly keep for themselves, and the crocodiles are not very sociable either.”

“Cocodriles?” the shorter man asked. “Who…who the hell has cocodriles?”

“Oh, Hades didn’t tell you?”

“Take a guess…” he said crossing his arms over his chest “Does he have crocodiles now? Wasn’t Cerberus enough for that edgelord?”

“No, the crocodiles are Madame Medusa’s pets” the fairy clarified, but after noticing a questioning look on the shorter man’s eyes she added “Red hair, an excessive amount of makeup, nail-and-flesh with Cruella?”

Jafar, although a little bit unsure, was already making a mental image of the woman described above. He was questioning who could be crazy enough to be close to someone like Cruella.

“Please Mal…” he said pinching the bridge of his nose “Who else lives here that I’m unaware of…?”

“Who did he mention?”

“You, Ursula, Hook, Cruella, Scar (if I recall), Gaston and I believe he actually mentioned a red-hair”

Maleficent chuckled and shook his head, which did not reassure her friend.

“Ohhhh Jay dear, those are not even half of the mother fuckers that live here” she laughed louder "Of course he would never tell you! If you had known you wouldn't have moved”

Yep, he was now deeply regretting everything. Was it too late to go back and beg Cyntia? Probably yes, but at least he still had his car.

“If you knew it, why the hell didn’t you warn me?”

“Because I need someone else to keep me sane” responded the green woman, as she drank from a flask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kept re writting this chapter beacuse I was never satisfied with the result but it's finally over and I can finally rest in peace.  
> Although the first chapters have been narrated from Jafar's point of view, the protagonism is going to change from chapter to chapter more or less depending on the situation.


	3. House Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After settling down, Hades starts explaining the house rules in hopes that the rest of the villains will actually follow them.
> 
> Spoiler alert: They won't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one that took a bit too long beacuse I had trouble coming out with a fluent dialogue (also cuz school sucks) but anyway, I enjoyed this one and I hope you do it as well ^^
> 
> Trigger warning: I wasn't sure if it was completely neccesary to put this here but there is mild homophobia coming from Frollo, but no one really cares beacuse he is just bitter.  
> He'll get character development later on tho.

Just as Jafar feared, Maleficent was right: there were a lot of people sitting at the dining table, at least 15.

The sorcerer was sitting near Hades, with his loyal parrot sitting on his shoulder eating a piece of apple. He had joined on conversation with Ursula, Mal and Hades but both the bird and his master was were also inspecting the rest of the villains.

Jafar started from the farthest point of the table, quickly identifying Cruella’s distinctive double-color hair and unnerving laugh as she talked to a red-hair woman whose face he could not see. They were chattering in a playful way, just like a pair of high school girls. But like old, scandalous and probably psychotic school girls.

Followed by the women was a pair of formal and serious looking men. One of them caressed the other’s hand as they responded something Jafar could not hear to Cruella.

He didn’t remember having seen them before, maybe they were a couple of new villains but he wasn’t completely sure. Both had a rather dark skin tone and a couple of white hairs here and there, but most noticeable, one of them had a pretty big scar on his-

 _Oh, so that might be Scar,_ Jafar thought and assumed that the other was the infamous tiger Shere Khan.

“It’s rude to stare~” Maleficent muttered as she drank from a goblet filled with grape soda.

The sentence cut Jafar’s train of thought and quickly turned to see the woman’s green eyes staring at him.

“I’m just curious” he said, before taking a bite off the slice of pizza on his plate.

“Well, if it satisfies your curiosity the answer is yes, that man is Scar; he is on his human form” the fairy clarified like it was common knowledge.

“A human form?” Iago asked Mal, leaning closer to her abruptly “But how? And why?”

“Apparently they can switch between the feline and the human form. The mouse worked his own magic on them I believe… don’t know exactly why” she added, not exactly dissipating all of the bird’s doubts.

“Is there any chance I can have one?” asked Iago, who had now jumped on the table and was close to Mal’s plate.

Ursula chuckled next to Maleficent and leaned closer in direction to the bird “My dear, sweet child, that’s what I do! It’s what I live fo-“

Jafar interrupted her speech before the music kick off “No, no deals with my parrot, Ursula. That also goes for you, young man, if you get turned into plankton I’m not turning you back”

The parrot looked annoyed at his master and flied back to his shoulder “You are such a party wrecker sometimes, ya know?” the bird muttered under his breath.

His owner just rolled his eyes as he drank soda from a goblet. After a couple of moments of vigilance and some judging of Hade’s bad puns, Iago’s face suddenly lighten up and he tapped on Jafar’s ears.

“Hey” he told Jafar as he pointed to Jafar’s right “Take a look at that”

Sitting next to Jafar was Hook, followed by Mr. Smee and both of them were talking to a purple old-woman sitting in front of them.

“She looks 22… minutes away from dying” muttered the red parrot in Arab, trying not to giggle too loud. Jafar was about to scold him but ended up trying to hold back a malicious chuckle when he saw the person Iago was talking about. Ala, he knew he wasn’t very good-looking himself but that woman was unnerving beyond believe.

Next to the fossil woman was sitting a young, bulky man laughing along with Gaston and Clayton. The three men were chatting in a rather loud way when Gaston swallowed a whole slice of pizza and resumed his anecdote.

“-Okay, but lemme tell ya when the shit goes down, Kronk. So we got back to the camp and there was a bloody bear with his whole head inside the cooler. We tried to just walk slowly to grab a rifle but then the motherfucker sees us and started running to catch us, so Clay and I just ran like hell to the nearest tree and climbed it”

“Dear God, what a hellish creature” a fourth man responded, with an almost terrified look on his face.

“Yes, Frollo, the things was totally a demon. He managed to rip part of my pants and almost bit Gaston’s leg off” Clayton responded “But then this kid pulls out a shotgun and, bang! We sold his pelt and then sent the head to a taxidermist” he patted Gaston’s shoulder enthusiastically as the men laughed.

Even people who had originally not payed attention to the hunter’s story were now listening, mostly because Gaston’s and Clayton’s loud voices made it harder to hold a conversation.

Hades stood up from the table and dusted his suit from any pizza crumbs that might have fallen.

“Nice story guys, but, now that we all ate I think it’s time to get straight to the point. Since Jay, Kronk and Medusa recently moved into the house, it wouldn’t hurt to take a look at some of the house rules, would it?”

Everyone, save for Kronk, groaned at unison when Hades pulled out a blackboard that had written several sentences listed from one to the four.

“A’right! Rule number one and the most important: Always knock before coming into a room. ALWAYS!” he added, putting emphasis in that last word. “Believe me; there are a lot of couples here, which is okay, but none of us want to deal with things we will regret having seen later”

Almost everyone nodded in agreement, except for Iago and Diablo who looked at each other across the table, visibly confused.

“I’ll explain to you later…” Jafar muttered to the bird.

“Rule number two: There is not curfew or bedtime, because I ain’t your mama. But please try to be quiet when others are sleeping” Hades looked over at the pirate sitting in front of Maleficent. “And that means no playing the piano at 1:00 am”

“Guilty as charged… but in my defense, I couldn’t sleep that night.” The pirate responded as he impaled a slice of pizza from the box with his hook in order to bring it to his plate.

“Rule number three: I know most of us are evil and we love it, not gonna lie, but don’t be jerks. Tolerate each other and we’ll all save ourselves some fights. And that rule was actually created thanks to Claude over here, you know what you did”

The ex-judge growled annoyed “It’s just not natural…” he muttered, trying to grab the parmesan cheese.

A collective eye roll spread across the table. Everyone knew Frollo was the most conservative one of the house and was prone to impose his morality sometimes.

The only response his comment receive was from Ursula who took Maleficent’s hand and placed a quick kiss on her knuckles to which the old man sitting across the table just shrugged his nose.

The priest lay against the seat and shrunk his shoulders, defeated. He knew that arguing in favor of God in a house full of homosexuals, as he addressed them, wasn’t the wisest thing to do.

“Next, rule number four: Wash you own dishes and clothes cuz there are no servants here unfortunately. Kinda the same with food, unless someone offers food all the cooking it’s all up to ya”

“Isn’t that rule a bit too obvious?” Yzma asked from across the table, pinching her temples.

“Yeah, I know but SOME PEOPLE have the bad habit of leaving their dirty clothes everywhere” he stared directly at the dark-haired young man who was swallowing yet another slice of pizza.

“Hey!” he responded with his mouth still full “I collected every single thing after ya yelled at me to do it Hades, no need to keep bitching ‘bout it!”

Hades approached the young man with heavy steps “But then you left all of your rags on your bedroom floor to rot for a whole month!” he exclaimed as his forehead started to turn red.

Gaston just rolled his eyes in a dismissive way, making Hades burst into red flames “Do you remember the amount of rats that moved into the house thanks to your smelly socks!? I think Ratigan is still hiding somewhere ‘round h-”

“Excuse me Hades, but are there any more rules that we should know off?” asked Kronk, trying to diffuse some of the tension between the hunter and the god.

The grey-skinned man took a deep breath as his flame recovered his usual clue color “Yeah, there’s a fifth rule that it’s not written here but it’s also important”

With the help of a white chalk he drew a number 5 under the final rule “The fifth rule is that: If you screw up, more rules will be added. So please don’t be dumbasses unless you want to end up with a whole rule of books”

Shortly after the dinner was over, some of the villains retreated to their respective rooms to rest or just to get away from eachother; Diablo and Iago who, since they were considered the youngest of the house, were sent to sleep.

Meanwhile only three persons were still on the living room, including Frollo, who was reading a book on the couch; Cruella, who was organizing some papers inside a portfolio, and Jafar, who quickly got up from a barstool when he saw Hades climb up the stairs and followed him.

“Hades, before you leave I need to ask you a question” the sorcerer said, grabbing the other man’s shoulder.

“Sure, what is it?” the sleepy god asked “Is it like really urgent or can it wait ‘till morning? cuz, even as an inmortal I stil need to sleep”

Jafar lowered her voice, in case someone heard them “Just… why?”

“Why what?” responded Hades, confused at the vague question.

“Why do you offer free housing if you know most of u- I mean _,_ these people _,_ are a mess?” his tone was more curious than sarcastic and, in a very subtle way, genuine.

The flaming god remained silent for a couple of seconds.

“Look…” he muttered, trying to arrange many ideas into something coherent “Unlike those blond-bleached princesses and boy scout princes, us “vilains” always have it rough living here in Disneyville, even if the mouse “tries” to help” he remarked, making a quotation sign with his hands.

“…and in one way or another, all of us sympathize with each other, even if we want to strangle each other sometimes” the god cracked a small chuckle “… I feel that life as the bad guys would suck a lot less if we all just understood that after all, we are all allies”

Jafar looked at him in disbelief until Hades made a comment.

“No, I don’t mean the type of allies that would overthrow the mouse, and please, name me one time that that plan has worked. Hell, we couldn’t even take that fucking nightclub for a night!”

“I wasn’t referring to that, at least not until next Halloween” he responded, smiling slightly “But I’m surprised that the Lord of the Underworld has suddenly become so soft…”

“Soft?” Hades laughed a bit too loudly “Go tell that to Pain and Panic once they find their way out of River Styx!”

Both men shared a cackle at the sadistic thought of the henchmen trying to swim against the current. Hades took a look at the clock and sighed.

“Well, I don’t know about you but I need to go to bed” he patted the shorter man’s shoulder and turned around in direction to his bedroom “Goodnight Jay-Jay, kiss Iago goodnight for me would ya?”

Jafar rolled his eyes at the nickname and responded with a hand gesture. He was tired too; after all it was way past ten and he could use an extra hour of sleeping.

As he entered his bedroom and gave a look at the covered cage in front of his bed, in which his bird rested after what have been one of the longest day for both of them.

Jafar let out a small smile as he thought about his friend had said.

Maybe there was some empathy between the villains. After all, he considered Hades and Maleficent his friends…

Maybe Hades was not as selfish as he thought the first time they meet. That hidden trait was odd, especially for a ruthless villain that had once attempted to murder a baby, and he also found it quite …

 _Endearing?_ The first word that appeared on his mind, which he dismissed shaking his head and shutting his eyes close.

 _Yeah, right… but he is still a freak sometimes…_ was his final thought before undressing and getting under the covers of his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter from Jafar's point of view for now. I'm not really sure what's gonna happen next but you can bet that this is where shit starts to go down.
> 
> PS. I don't know if Hades is too out of character and that thing has me uneasy


	4. Someone screw up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was stuck on a pharagraph for almost 2 weeks until I had a revelation on how to end this frickin' thing at 4 in the morning.  
> Sorry 'bout the delay

Maleficent and Ursula were chilling in the living room, as they accustomed to, with the sea witch laying down on Maleficent’s lap and the demonic queen reading a book before they both went to work. An icy breeze blew in through the large open window to her right and the sea witch shifted over Mal's robes for warmth, something the other woman didn't mind.

Apart from a few steps coming from the kitchen, there was no noise, only the peace and quiet of one of those rare peaceful days.

 _It is really nice_ , Maleficent thought for herself _, seems like those idiots have nothing do to today or at least they have not woke up yet; either way, what a relief._

She caressed her wife’s white hair with the tips of her nails and could feel how she was smiling. It was pretty relaxing how they could be comfortable with each other without saying a single word.

But, as many things in life, that moment came to an end with high-pitched scream coming from the kitchen, along with the sound of broken plates and falling pans.

“What the-?!” Ursula exclaimed, quickly sitting on the sofa.

Maleficent just groaned in annoyance and squeezed the book, leaving little scratches on the hardcover.

“I swear to God these fools are going to set the bloody house on fire one of these days…” she grumbled, not taking her eyes off the book.

Ursula, who was just as irritated as her partner for having their little moment of intimacy ruined, yelled:

“It’s 7 am, you blob fish! CUT IT OFF!”

“HELP MEEEEEEE!!” the voice shriek in absolute terror from the other room.

 _Oh, Hook. What a surprise,_ the cecaelia thought for herself. She stood up and went to the kitchen to see what tornado he had unleashed this time.

The sea-witch took a peek inside the room and saw Captain Hook sitting on top of the fridge, shrieking and trembling as two crocodiles were playfully pretending to bite him, making him scream again.

Ursula clapped her hands in an attempt to catch the attention of the alligators.

“Hey hey! Get out, back to your swamp you little beasties!” 

The only response she got was Brutus attempting to bite on of her tentacle off, making her lose her balance and fall backwards. Before the animal attempted anything, she used one of her limbs as a whip and slapped him on his snout, stunning him for a second.

She got away from their reach crawling over the tiles frantically to try and climb the island in middle of the kitchen while the crocodiles returned his attention at Hook, seeing that he might be an easier prey.

“Good luck with them James!!” yelled Ursula, drawing her tentacles closer to her body in order to avoid any injuries to herself.

Hook had grabbed a pan and attempted to hit the animals with it “Wait Urusla! Come baAAAAAH!” he exclaimed in terror as one of the crocodiles snatched the pan of his hands and chewed it like a cracker, making the poor pirate scream even louder.

Alerted by the screaming, Kronk ran downstairs still on pajamas “Hey hey, what’s going on in he- Oh boy” he back down at the sight of the two enormous crocodiles. He liked animals yeah, but crocodiles were not his favorite if he had to pick.

The attention of the two scaled beast shifted towards Kronk, considering him more fun than the screaming pirate they couldn’t reach and started moving slowly towards him.

Guessing their intentions, Kronk started to back down slowly while holding his hands in front of him as a way to keep distance “E-Easy o-on… calm down little ‘ga-ga…tors…” he tried reasoning, but the crocodiles didn’t seem to be very interested on his conversation but rather on his big, meaty arms.

“RUN BOY!!!” Ursula yelled at Kronk.

The buffy man let out a high pitch scream before escaping the kitchen, almost slipping with his bunny slippers.

James started to climb down from the fridge and as soon as he feet touched the ground he fainted. Ursula refused to get down from the island, still a bit uneasy after almost losing a limb.

The peace and quiet was long since gone. The sound of loud steps and cries for help now plagued the entire house, the protests and fights would soon followed.

Medusa, awoken by the general chaos and still on her nightgown, went rapidly through the stairs, the living room and the kitchen to the patio yelling at Kronk for disturbing her babies, to which the poor boy could only reply as a mix of screams and jumps.

“HOLD STILL!!!” Clayton screamed, as he almost slipped while reloading a gun clumsily and making obvious the fact that he had been drinking. Followed by the tipsy old man was Gaton, who was also reloading his weapon.

“CLAYTON, IS BARELY MORNING, HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO GET- OH MERDE!” More shrieks and curses came from the patio, followed by the sounds of shotguns.

Many bullets flew into the kitchen and one of them passed a few inches in front of Mal’s face, finally landing on a nearby vase, which exploded as soon as the bullet hit it.

Maleficent finally put the book down with a slam “One day… one BLOODY DAY IS ALL I ASK…” she walked towards the kitchen, ready to slap a bitch.

* * *

That same afternoon Hades organized a reunion on the living room, much to the annoyance of the rest of his housemates, but after hearing all the complaints he received once he got home he understood that he needed to do something.

He pushed the chalkboard to the middle of the room and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to control the red flame that was starting to rise on his head “That’s it! This is exactly the kinda things that I was talking about…! You leave me no choice but to make a sixth rule: All big pets will have to sleep outside”

“You heard him kitty, get out!” Gaston yelled teasingly at Scar, to which the older man only rolled his eyes and sighed.

“I am no one’s pet, you brute” Scar growled at the hunter “But believe me, I would prefer to sleep outside than near that devilish woman”

Everyone gave a look at the black and white haired woman sitting near Madame Medusa.

Hades rubbed his face with his left hand; his expression did not show anger but rather tiredness “In the name of Olympus, what did you do this time ‘Ella?”

Cruella might not possess any magical powers, but she was almost, if not worse than the other magical villains.

“We still cannot rest our eyes without having to lock the door every night!” continued Shere Khan, to which his partner nodded his head in agreement.

“FOR CHRIST ‘S SAKE IT WAS ONE TIME!” Cruella responded as she stood up abruptly from the couch and waved a fist at them, highly offended at the tiger’s comment. Medusa took her hand in an attempt to calm her while Scar did the same to Shere Khan, who was already growling at her in response. His irises had turned almost feline and his beard had grown a bit, almost ready to transform into a full tiger.

Both villains started bickering with a mix of growls and curses, and the rest of the people present there weren't much help either; In fact, many just delighfully lained back on their sits to enjoy the show.

The flaming god tried to draw upon the slim source of patience he had but he ended up growling angrily and his flame turned fully red, which made the bickering of the lion and the woman stop abruptly.

“Okay, okay, time out kids” interrupted Hades, trying to dissipate some of his own anger before things got worse. “I love gladiator fights but I’m certainly not in the mood to clean up the mess after you two go after each other… so I recommend you to sit back for now ‘till this meeting’s over, gotcha?”

Both Cruella and Shere Khan took deep breaths and returned to their sits, still glaring daggers at each other.

Hades took some time before resuming his speech “We are gonna aboard Cruella’s problem in another reunion but for now, let’s focus on the crocodile problem”

“My babies are not the problem” Medusa interrupted as she pointed at Hook “It was the pirate that bothered them, they acted in self-defense!”

Hook punched a nearby table with his right hand “Self-Defense my booty!! I was just going to the kitchen to get some crackers when those beasts cornered me!”

“Stop calling them beasts you fish-stench idiot!” Just like a mother, Medusa was now ready to defend her babies against that unfair accusation.

“I will not stop since I was not the only victim of those vicious animals!” he responded, raising his hook up in the air “Ursula was almost injured, Kronk was chased down by those reptiles and they also attempted to bite both Gaston and Clayton”

Medusa waved her hand dismissively.

“Brutus and Nero are very playful at times~” she justified with a smile “They wouldn’t hurt a fly, unless I command them to”

Maleficent, who had been silent the whole time, finally gave the red-haired woman a cold glare that made her feel chills down her spine.

“What those crocodiles did is not included in the definition of playful… on normal circumstances I wouldn’t mind a share of maiming, but since we are trying to keep things civilized around here I advise you to keep those pets of yours under control” Her green eyes had narrowed towards her and was looking deep into her, like if she could see her soul.

Once her authority over her pets was questioned, Medusas got over her initial feeling of uneasiness towards the fae’s harsh tone and her chest started swelling with pride.

“I have perfect control over them and I will show you! I will show all of you!” she declared before storming out of the living room and headed to the patio, grabbing a coat and a cane.

A couple of confused looks were exchanged until Hades pushed the chalkboard aside “Well, I guess that was good chat, yer all dismissed”

Kronk and Hook stood up and went to the kitchen followed by Gaston and Clayton, after making sure there weren’t any reptiles nearby. Scar went upstairs to his room, as well as Jafar and Frollo. Only Ursula, Hades, Cruella and Maleficent remained on the living room.

The god took off his coat and looked at Cruella.

“ ’Ella, babe, could you go out and make sure your gal pal doesn’t get eaten by those things?” he told her in an indifferent voice.

“I’m not her mother, Hades! I’m not handcuffed to her as you all think” she responded, lighting a cigarrette.

Ursula chuckled a bit and then added “Don’t lie to us angelfish, you were gonna go with her anyways and you know it”

Cruella did not bother to respond Ursula’s comment and simply left the room to join her friend Medusa. She was rather curious of what the red-hair had in mind.

“Perfect, that way they will both get eaten” Maleficent said, grabbing one of her favorite books from the bookshelf.

The god let out a small chuckle as he let himself fall on an armchair near Maleficent “You can pray about elegance all ya want babe, but we all know you love some good old fashioned blood shell”

The fae let out a small smirk “I do, especially if it involves someone who dares to attempt any harm to my beloved”

“Oh honey, you’re making me blush~” said the sea witch as Mal caressed the purple woman’s cheek.

Hades started walking towards the stairs as he said in a dramatic tone “Real cute, I’m gonna give you space while I take my single and loner butt upstairs to reevaluate my life choices”

His comment had no response other than an eye roll and a sigh. When he reached the top floor he decided to change his route a bit and maybe annoy Jafar a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter so far beacuse I was finally able to portray in words the kind of chaos all these guys would unleash if put together in the same house XD
> 
> Also, I've been doing some character studies in hopes that I can write some characters in a better way.
> 
> Drink water and sleep ya'll!


	5. Proving a point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just like the title says, Medusa proves a pint but it backfires horribly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers...
> 
> If I say that I'm gonna update in one date, add 15 extra days... Anyways, I have another chapter ready to publish after this one, so this time I might be able to keep a consistent schedule, yey!

A couple of days passed after the last household reunion and the matter had been almost forgotten, save from Medusa’s pretty odd behavior. She was barely seen around the mansion, except during dinner time just to disappear again along with Cruella.

When asked about her friend’s whereabouts by her housemates, the dual-haired woman would rapidly disengage from the conversation arguing that she had swear to her dear “Med” that no word would slip from her.

It was a normal thing for all of them to do their own thing so no one really cared what the other was up to, and they figured that, whatever weird things she was doing on the backyard it might be better no to ask directly. That would have proven to be unfortunate for certain member of the household.

….

The sun was starting to rise in the mansion’s terrains and most of the inhabitants of the house were still asleep or already at work.

It was warm and cozy, unusual for an October morning but welcomed nonetheless. Perfect for a lazy Sunday for certain pirate.

Today was Hook’s free day and he was going to enjoy the peace he had on his boat shaped bed, filled with bed sheets and pillows. Unfortunatley, that peace was cut short when a knock on his door alerted him, poking his head out of the covers

“Not today Silver…!” he responded to the unwanted visitor, quickly covering his head again with the sheets

“Jaaames~” a female voice called from outside the room, along with three more knocks.

“… _barnacles…”_ he muttered under his breath upon recognizing the voice “What do you want Medusa?!”

“Could you please open the door? I’ve got a surprise for you my dear!”

The thought resonated on his mind.

_[HELL NO!]_

He then proceeded to bury himself deeper on his bed in an attempt to fall asleep again only to be startled by three more knocks on the door.

“James please! I want make up for what happened with my babies, would you accept this as a truce?” her voice was… oddly sweet and comforting, and Hook surely did not trust that.

The black-haired pirate pokes his head from under the sheets and shouted again “Can that wait until noon? I’m not really in shape to accept visits” he said, trying to discourage her.

“No, no, no, it has to be now!”

He growled loudly at her insistence and finally dragged his existence from the bed. James muttered curses under his breath as he dressed in a robe, because the man wouldn’t let himself be caught dead on his SpongeBob pajamas, and opened the wooden door ready to tell one thing or two to Medusa—

There they were, the two spawns from Hell were once again roaming the mansion and Hook was one hundred per cent done with it after 5 seconds of staring at the smiling crocodiles in front of him.

“Well? What do you think?” asked Medusa, smiling cheerfully at him and eager for an answer.

No screams, no tics, no running, just his eyes open as plates and his skin pale as paper as he noticed the trays on their backs containing pancakes, scrambled eggs and cereal.

What was Medusas’s wicked plan? Stuff him so she could later feed him to her monsters?! No, he was NOT falling for that one!

He took a long step back into his room and then slammed the door in Medusa’s nose.

“HOOK! WHAT THE ACTUAL— JAMEEES!!” she yelled at the door, banging the planks with her fists repeatedly “I do one nice thing for you and this is how you pay me?!”

There was no reply, and how could he reply? Hook had immediately pass out

One by one the residents of the mansion started to open the doors to see what was going on with all that noise.

Kronk yipped quietly and went back to his room in less than a second; the man was done dealing with crocodiles for the rest of his days.

Gaston went to fetch his rifle in a heartbeat after hearing Kronk and aimed for the Neron’s forehead until he realized it wasn’t loaded and the crocodile now had his eyes on him.

“No, don’t even trYYYYY” Gaston yelled as he ran downstairs and escaped to the backyard followed by Neron and Medusa.

The woman took out a small whistle and start calling for her crocodile “NERON!! COME HERE! NO BITING, WE ALREADY WENT THROUGH THIS”

The rest of the inhabitants of the house where either asleep or just didn’t have the energy to deal with whatever hell had been unleashed, so no one dared to step out of their rooms… except certain tiger with messy fur and murder on his eyes.

“I’m killing her, I don’t care if there are witnesses she will not breathing by breakfast” he growled under his breath.


	6. Halloween Preparations Pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Halloween around the corner, the villains start to prepare a little trick for the "heroes" 
> 
> In this installment, Yzma prepares an special potion with the help of Kronk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had another version of this but I rewrote entirely to fit the Halloween storyline I'm preparing, that's one of the reasons it took me so long.  
> Right now I'm done with school so I might be able to get chapters out faster, I hope...

The mansion’s basement, while it was mostly used for storage, it also served as a not-so-secret laboratory for the house residents who were into alchemy and magic, mainly Ursula and Yzma who enjoyed creating potions together from time to time. 

But today Yzma was working alone with only the company of Kronk, who was the only one who had volunteered to help her in the making of a new project, moving things on the lab and bringing the ingredients she needed.

The bulky man stood next to a table full of chemistry equipment: beakers, test tubes, flasks, and other tools; while the woman leaned against said table, holding a book very close to her face as she quickly examined her contents, nodding after every sentence.  
In front of them was a dark metal cauldron, filled with a thick white liquid which resembled spoiled milk, and it certainly smelled like it.

“Uh, Yzma?” the tall man asked, getting a bit further from the cauldron.

“A-Are you sure you know what you are doing?”

Yzma lifted her head from the book and gave an offended look at Kronk 

“Of course I know! The recipe Ursula gave me its child’s play!”

She took a beaker and shake it for a couple of seconds before pouring its content into the mix, which took an emerald green color. The smell lost a bit of his potency, being overpowered by a strong citric scent.

Kronk relaxed a bit when he noticed the small, confident smirk forming on the older woman’s lips. He had picked up some of her mannerisms in the time working for her and he knew that smile usually meant good things, but he was still gonna keep an eye on that cauldron.

“So, what’s the deal with this?” Kronk asked, pointing at the green mix.

“Oh, well, this was supposed to be something between the girls and me...” she responded a bit reluctant as she passed the pages of the potion book.

“C’mon auntie!” Kronk insisted, making puppy eyes at her “I wanna know what I am helping with!”

The purple woman rolled her eyes. For more that she tried to keep a straight face at Kronk’s antics, no one would be capable of ignoring those big shiny eyes.

“I cannot tell you exactly what it is but I can tell you that we are preparing a little trick for Mickey Mouse’s Halloween Party” she smiled.

Kronk’s expression shifted into surprise and concern.

“Oh no!” Kronk exclaimed, suddenly raising his hands which made Yzma startle a bit. “I’m sorry, but I don’t like the idea of helping you hurt someone again!” 

She groaned in annoyance before responding:

“We are not planning to kill or maim anyone, just a fun little prank on him and on the heroes!” she took her book once again and read the final sentences of the page before closing it.  
“We haven’t pulled a scheme like this in a while; we deserve a little bit of fun at least once a year, don’t we?”

Kronk wasn’t totally convinced by that but decides just to shrug his shoulders and hope that she is telling the truth because he already helped and he knew Mickey was gonna drag him along with the villains 

Yzma took a small vial and poured its content onto the green liquid 

“Okay Kronk, put on your googles”

They both placed the black googles on their faces and, at the sign of Yzma giving him a thumb up, Kronk pulled a lever not very far from there and sent an electric shook to the contents to the cauldron.

The liquid started to rise and sink on the cauldron, like if something was pulsing inside it, and started to change colors like a rainbow: First green, then blue, indigo, purple and finally it settle in lavender. 

Yzma made a different sign to cut it off and Kronk put the lever back on its place. The content of the cauldron stopped moving after a couple of seconds and took a consistency similar to the one of condensed milk.  
Kronk leaned over the cauldron, very impressed by how appetizing the spoiled milk had become. Yzma noded her head at the cauldron, and encourage him to smell it.  
A bit skeptical, Kronk drew his face closer to the liquid and inhaled deeply. The smell was not very clear and could be described as something between apple pie, blueberry pie and a hint of lemon.

[That’s an odd way of cooking…] he thought for himself as he took a drop of the substance with his pinky finger in order to taste it.

“Don’t put that on your mouth!” she said abruptly, gripping the young man’s forearm and pulling it away from his face.

“Aha! So it is poison!” the young man cleaned the drop on his white robe and crossed his arms over his chest.

Yzma had no time to deal with this so she sighed and said:   
“It’s not poison Kronk” she clarified, and took a deep breath before continuing “…Alright, it’s a sleeping curse… are you happy now, Kronk?”

Kronk remained a couple of seconds in silence. That was not what he had expected from someone like Yzma, a woman who once tried to poison the boy she practically raised, and neither from Ursula –he couldn’t remember what she had done but she didn’t seem like the type of person who would use that type of magic– and that made him more curious about their plan.

“So, is the same stuff the queen used on Snow White?” 

“Not exactly…” Yzma responded “Grimhilde didn’t want to get involved on this, so Ursula, Maleficent and I had to come up with our own recipe for a potion”

“It took us a while but we finally managed to get the right amount of everything, and I didn’t even need Ursula’s fancy magic to mix it up!” 

Kronk looked at the purple woman with curiosity as he raised a brow.   
“Wait, you needed magic for this?”

“Well yeeeesss… technically, according to the recipe. But that electric shook mix it up and you liked it, so it’s good enough”

“Shouldn’t we have waited for Ursula before mixing it? 

Yzma rolled her eyes dismissively.   
“She is on a date with the horned girl, and I’m not waiting for her to return to keep working on a simple enough potion”

“But-“

“I’m the best alchemist among the villains! I have mastered the creation of all sorts of metamorphosis potions without the use of any magic!” she exclaimed, taking off   
her gloves and white robe with an offended gesture.

Knowing Yzma’s temper, Kronk decided not to keep discussing any further and just let that slip. But he couldn’t help but feel a bit uneasy. He might not be the most brilliant, granted, but he knew that not following a recipe could be a big risk.

Just like she could read his mind, Yzma patted Kronk on the back and said:  
“Stop worrying so much Kronk, it’s not like this is gonna explode on our faces” Yzma said, with a confident smile as she turned back to look for the book.

Kronk tried to calm himself down but his calm demeanor shattered when he saw the potion change its color blue and started to quiver.

“Y-Yzma?!” he exclaimed, a little bit more worried, tapping into the woman shoulder. 

Yzma turned her attention back at the red liquid and her smile turned into an expression of fear.

“Oh, that’s… not supposed to be happening…!” she opened the book frantically, scanning every page looking for an error on the mixing or the ingredients.

The cauldron quivered, pouring some of its content into the floor. The remnant on the cauldron quickly started to change color: Green, yellow, orange…

The duo started to back down from the cauldron, which had started to shake violently as the liquid inside it turned red.

Yzma threw the book away and exclaimed:

“RUN!”

Kronk and Yzma frantically attempted to climb up the stairs to escape from the cauldron’s fury but then---

…….

A loud explosion was heard by Gaston, who was returning from a hunt trip with a deer on his shoulders, and made him stop dead on his tracks. Thinking it might be an attack; he dropped the animal and grabbed his rifle, ready to shot at the sight of danger.

He approached the house slowly from the backyard and saw that all the glass of the sliding door had fallen and shattered. Gaston then approached the house faster to get a closer look inside until his boot landed on a red, slimy liquid that was oozing out from inside.

He didn’t even dare to get closer, not because he was scared but because he didn’t want to get involved in case those psychos he lived with had finally snapped and ended up killing someone.

After all, no one escapes from a suspected crime scene like Gaston.

….

Meanwhile, inside the house, most of the floor, furniture and some walls were covered in the red slimy substance. The explosion had also sent the most light weighted furniture flying across the room and crashed against the floor and walls: The coffe table, a poor vase, several lamps and even the bookcase had been flipped over and the books had fallen and were now floating on top of the red liquid.

In the entrance of the basement, Kronk and Yzma found themselves laying on the floor after the explosion had pushed them out of the stairs and they ended up covered from head to toe on that nasty substance

Kronk stood up and wiped the goo from his face with some difficulty due to the stickiness and the foul smell. He then helped the older woman stand up and guided her to a nearby couch.

“Is Hades kicking us out for this?” he said, giving Yzma a towel which she took sharply and cleaned her face angrily.

“Probably… but it was the octupus’s idea, so if I go down she is coming with me!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I had to make a Gaston joke or I was gonna die-
> 
> Btw, drink water you dehydrated children.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters are generally not going to be really long beacuse it is a slice of life fic so every chapter is


End file.
